girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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