OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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