is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You're like the curious george of whores
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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