Jerry, you need to find god
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
