69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
