To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
