Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
