And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Randomize
