it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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