He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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