before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's never too late to be topless.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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