i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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