Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize