Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
