I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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