With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
