You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
