a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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