So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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