I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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