wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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