I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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