So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
