Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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