I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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