i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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