Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
