I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
