Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
