bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
