Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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