My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i out mim tonsoeep
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
