yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
