Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
