I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
