is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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