I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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