so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
