went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
