Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
