Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
is wine microwaveable?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
