Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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