the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
