watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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