I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
