stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
