he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
