My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
