How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
If that was your dad, he is hot
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
