I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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