if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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