Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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