I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
