carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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