there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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