not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
