Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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