i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
