i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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