pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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