It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
