I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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