come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
